Somewhere Safe, Indeed?
by Kyer
Summary: This bit of fluff can be taken as an unauthorized chapter 5 for Fox Moonshadow's story since she won't do it herself. d future BatFlash slash implied. 2: Warnings: Bruce acting like a cad, J'onn taking exception to this, Wally...acting like Wally.
1. Caught

**A/N: Since the writer (Fox Moonshadow) has abdicated on doing a fifth chapter about my suspicions on J'onn's motives with Flash in the story Somewhere Safe...I'm forced to write it up myself.**

**Story has BatFlash leaning even though Fox Moonshadow's does not...simply because I found it humorous and such things like lifestyle choices are not more important to me than having fun with a story. Don't agree? The Back Key is a really handy invention.**

Kyer obviously does not own Detective Comics Comics (R). If she did own (D)eath (C)risis ((R))ebirth graphic stories, Wally would never have been given annoying twins.

* * *

Somewhere Safe, Indeed?

....

"J'onn?"

J'onn stiffened almost imperceptibly at the sound of Batman's no-nonsense tone coming over his communicator. The unstated '_get your green ass over here, pronto!'_ did not need to be articulated. The Martian had a bad feeling. Unfortunately, the _bad feeling_ was of profound disapproval as emanating from the Caped Crusader towards J'onzz and not something easier to deal with like--say--a galactic invasion.

* * *

"Batman, you wished to see me?" J'onn did his best to appear nonchalant as he silently phased into the gloomy Monitor Womb where the Dark Knight was keeping an eye on the many monitors. The Martian noted to his dismay that one of them was a paused view of Flash's Watchtower bedroom.

_Oh dear._

Grimly, Batman hit a button and the recorded scene sprang to life: Wally lying in his bunk, changing positions every second---then every half second...quarter second...eighth...the abused blankets tangling tighter around his legs...the young man vibrating faster and faster until with a _whump_ he ended up on the floor with a startled/terrified look in his brilliant green eyes. Then a blur and they were looking at an empty bed. Only the rumpled red and gold _The Flash_ licensed bedding set left at the scene was evidence that the superhero had been there just a moment before.

Batman then hit another button and the view changed to J'onzz's own orange-painted domicile where a smiling--nay, _smirking_--J'onn was in his elongated Chinese dragon form.

_Oh crap._

Another tick of the clock and a red blur burst into the room. A nervous Flash was heard apologizing for the hour...obviously begging J'onn for something not specified. The dragon responded by gracing the speedster with a 'hug' before swallowing the clearly relieved Wally whole.

J'onn turned away from his engorged image now frozen on the monitor screen. The Dark Knight's eyes were grim coals of accusation emanating from the holes in his cowl. For all that he was without a doubt far more powerful than the resourceful--yet very mortal--human, the Martian shivered.

"Mind explaining to me what that was all about?" It was very clear the inquiry was more an accusation than anything else.

"Flash had a bad dream last night and was seeking a sense of comfort and security. I obliged him." _(After getting over that first-time terror of the experience when Flash had been in danger of freezing to death, Wally had grown to enjoy being cradled in the safety of J'onn's craw whenever he felt traumatized. J'onzz had explained to the League Founders at the time that it was a life-saving act and Wally had stood up for him.)_

"Obviously," Batman growled. "However, this event was recorded _three_ nights previously. Oddly enough, there are two amazingly similar recordings for the following two nights--including last night."

J'onn hesitated before answering with "Wally _is_ a very troubled young man."

"Exactly...a young _man_--not a toddler in need of coddling. Using Flash's insecurities to alleviate your own '_daddy_' inclinations is not doing him a service..You are not his father, J'onn. I suggest you stop manipulating his dreams to drive him to you whenever you get the urge to wax parental."

So...Bruce had figured it out. The Martian had the grace to look embarrassed at being caught. That is, until he started doing some mental detective work of his own. After all, The Great Detective wasn't the only hero in The Justice League with a background in sleuthing.

"You placed a camera in Flash's bedroom." Now it was Batman's turn to stiffen. "You have admitted that you were watching Wally as he slept for the last three nights. Would it be too much to imagine that if you have been watching him as he slumbered that this surveillance has been going on for much longer than that?"

Batman looked away; ostensibly to watch the more Earth-centric monitor screens. "_Security_ reasons. You never know when something nefarious will attack The Watchtower."

"You would have me believe that if there is a threat of some mad megalomaniac desiring to take over the world, he or she would start in Flash's bedroom?" J'onn smiled...then sobered. Actually, that scenario was not totally far fetched. Weirdness and The League did go hand in hand and trouble did gravitate towards The Fastest Man Alive. (Just last year Flash had innocently picked up an interesting rock as a souvenir only to have it turn out to have been a hibernating Green Lantern on sabbatical. The silicon-based sentient had been most unhappy when he'd awoken to find himself not in the serene locale of Betelgeuse III---but under a pile of Flash's smelly laundry.) The Martian shook his head at the memory. There were still green scorch marks and dents gracing Wally's apartment.

"I suppose then that _every_ bedroom in the Watchtower is being so monitored?"

Batman did not answer, seemingly riveted on some potentially nefarious goings on taking place in Los Angelas, California....a child crying over her kitty stuck in a tree. Before he could claim that duty called, Superman swept into view to handle the rescue.

"Damn, Boy Scout," Batman muttered.

"You know, Bruce, it is not my intention to hurt Wally. And there is a bonus to looking the other way when I'm indulging my...parental inclinations."

"And that would be?"

"As a_ parent_, I can dispense fatherly advice and approval on matters of my son's choices when it comes to dating."

Silence.

"So..._Flash's dad_...mind if I take Wally out on a dinner date Tuesday night?"

"As long as you have him home by midnight."


	2. Parental Consent Required

Okay, I admit that the responses toward this story were more lack luster. Still in a bored moment my brain started wondering how the date went. I then wrote most of this and...family crisis/mental blank/file sorting/Hey What's This?/quickie edit/post. Need I say more? Well, there is this:

It's short.

Disclaimer: Characters, Persons, Places and Things are not mine. Original plot idea about J'onzz saving Wally's life belongs to Fox Moonshadow as mentioned in part one. This continued perversion of that is mine.

**The dratted inability of FFN's editor to keep the extra hyphens that make up a proper 'dash' continues to anger me. I mean, dashes are a Flash staple. "..." is just too slow for most Wally scenes.**

* * *

Chapter 2: Parental Consent Required

J'onzz listened with mounting trepidation as he concentrated hard on catching every syllable as it flew from the human's mouth. This was important, though not an easy feat seeing as it was Flash who was giving the very animated report of his past couple of hours...complete with gestured re-enactments. It was obvious to J'onn that the speedster was still overly excited upon returning from what had been his very first date. The fact that it had been a date with the mysterious Bruce Wayne/Batman just set a joyful sparkle in Wally West's green eyes.

To J'onn that sparkle was becoming akin to a warning beacon of upcoming trouble.

The enthusiastic speedster continued supplying the requested play-by-play account of his restaurant tryst as the less-than-enthused Martian listened and tried his best to keep his own expressions under a tight check. Had he ever been that excitable in his own youth?

_They grow up so fast._

Wally got anxious about things too easily. J'onn didn't want to upset his son unnecessarily...it could effect the boy's digestive system and that could prove ill for one who had such a fast metabolism. Best to keep his rising dismay to himself. Besides, he'd heard that most human's suffered from these 'crushes' during their early years so it was likely just a 'phase'. Nothing for J'onn to get upset over.

_If Bruce crushed Wally, he will soon learn what being crushed really feels like!_

* * *

Wally West was not his true child. He wasn't even Martian born having hailed from Kansas in the United States: a country of Earth's. Be that as it may both shared a need to hold family close as they had each lost their original ones. Otherwise, the pair had very little in common besides wanting to help everyone and see justice served:

Wally was as hyper as humans got; J'onn enjoyed quiet meditation.

J'onn mainly favored chocos, could shape shift, and was a genius by any human standard; Wally was a figurative chimera with the stomach of a goat, the legs of a roadrunner, and usually displayed the intelligence level of cheddar cheese. (Maybe AAA-grade cheddar cheese, but no matter how you sliced it, t'was still curds and whey up there to a Martian.)

Wally was an explosive personality...an inexhaustible candle burning brightly at both ends; J'onn was considered as boring as a moon rock right down to his pointless suspenders and those points of fire were unnerving to him.

They even preferred the opposites on the color wheel: green versus red.

Still, it wasn't _all_ a bad arrangement:

People thought Wally was a juvenile idiot; J'onn saw his future potential.

Humans saw J'onn's alien form as frightening; Wally thought it the neatest shape he'd ever seen bar Batman's robotic T-Rex.

They were a dysfunctional family of two...and both were fiercely proud to have the other counted as a loved one.

_You didn't mess with a Martian's loved ones._

* * *

"...and then Batz...I mean 'Bruce' kept reaching for the same spice shaker or sauce I was going for so that our hands kept getting brushed together...which made me start vibrating from nervousness...kind of upset the table so that things began to fall over...I couldn't stop I...just froze and _that_ started me blushing as well...I thought he was going to call the date off because I was, like, embarrassing him; except he was really really nice about it...just smiling like I wasn't the biggest klutz...but it was weird since I'd always thought _he_ was at least more coordinated than that...

_Hmm._

...I mean with the table going tilted you'd think he would have stopped it with those Bruce...I mean Batz reflexes of his, but instead of steadying it he accidentally spilled his wine on my shirt and it started to go down my pants before I grabbed a napkin...because all of a sudden Batz...I mean Bruce...was the frozen one this time. I think he was upset because I had told him earlier that the tux was a rental and he'd stained it..so he insisted on helping me clean up in the restroom...maybe go back to his place so I could exchange it for one of his.

_Oh?_

He said wine could irritate the skin if left on too long so I had to get it off asap..and I was apologizing because it was, like, _my speed_ that was at fault for ruining our dinner anyway, but he was really nice about it saying it was 'fine'. And it was my shirt like I said and now the pants, but for some reason he was now staring at my face like I had something in my eye. He said...really _intense like_...he said "red and black went well together" and that he didn't mind that I was fast because in certain areas he liked to move fast too. And I asked "Really?" and he just smiled and moved closer. I think he was going to kiss me because his lips were like _-this_- close to mine, but then the waiter came in...and I must have trod on his foot or something because Batz...I mean Bruce...started cursing under his breath.

Hold the Ion ztichtia sauce here..._how close? Just who authorized kissing?_

"...well, It must not have been too much of a disaster, because tomorrow he wants to take me to a movie show!" The red-head's expression turned quizzical. "I think it's about a rock climbing disaster because the title had something to do with a broken back while on a mountain. Anyway, Batz...I mean Bruce...says-_and this is really, really neat_-he has his own movie theater at the Manor! It's all privatey-like and stuff so he says we won't have to worry about crying kids or cell phones going off or waiters coming in at key moments because he can give Alfred the night off...

_By the Moons of Mars...not bloody likely!_

"...so do you think I should go? I really like Batz...I mean Bruce...a lot. I would even if he didn't have a dinosaur."

"I have a better idea."

* * *

"Didn't I tell you it was comfy in here, Batz...I mean, Bruce? All warm and cozy and safe."

"Safe." Bruce repeated Wally's last word in an annoyed manner. Not that his bubbly date seemed to notice...that or the scowl on his face.

Probably the last was because they were in pitch blackness.

"Uh huh, and with J'onn piping the movie right into our minds, there's no danger of getting distracted and missing a moment of the fun."

"I wouldn't put it _quite_ that way."

"I'm really looking forward seeing these romance/action movies he salvaged from his old home: When Martians Attack and Revenge of the Gods of Chastity."

"Lucky us," Wayne deadpanned.

"Yep, it's a good thing that J'onn adopted me. Who knows what trouble I might have gotten into without his superior guidance and watchfulness."

"I could think of several intriguing possibilities."

"So, Batz...I mean Bruce," Wally snuggled even closer "...read any good books lately?"

"No, but the tale of Jonah and the Whale is strikingly on my mind."

* * *

J'onn felt Bruce Wayne attempt to shift away from Wally within the tight confines and smirked as he relayed more scenes of some philandering Venusian getting the _shpatritz_ kicked out of his _narnear_ by a vengeful Martian father whose child the pervert had tried to kiss without first receiving authorized parental consent.


End file.
